Miscarriages

 I never really understood the actual meaning of this word..... Miscarriage


At the begining of the year 2021, I was pregnant with my 2nd child. All that excitment from My husband, I and my daughter.

Finally at 10 weeks when we went for a scan with my daughter, guess what?... after all these years we saw 2 sacks. We where having twins.
I could not believe it. From where? neither of us has immediate family have had twins.

I was asked to come back in 3 weeks to know if i would get the neck of the womb(cercelage) tied, as I had weak cervix during my first pregnancy.


Then it all started one night, just a week to my appointment.... I had the worst pain ever. I went to the hospital and the management was careless I was in the worst pain ever for 13 hours before i started bleeding out. 

For the first time i understood what water breaking means. 
I heard two scas break, or would I say burst to my hearing. Then I started to bleed all my life out in the hospital toilet before i was rushed to theater for an evacuation. Another painful process. It was allover. 

I was confused, then the questions started, I was numb, I lost weight. Was I working so hard? Did I ignore anything?
Having to also examine to my 5 year old. But her dad helped me out on all that. 
Eventually I healed and got back to work.

Now fastforward to sebtember 2021, I was preganat again. This time i was walking on egg shell . I did not know I was pregnant. 
My lower abdominal region was so sore, I was scared it was apendix. Only for me to go for a scan and hear "Madam you are pregnant ". Tears of Joy.

I kept the circle of those that knew small. My work people to explain my laziness and rapid weight gain. Then my family.

But then...... It struck again...... in 2 days of good news to a day of bad new.... madam your womb is collapsing. They pregnancy has been miscarried. I was broken. I went to the convince to pee. And then a huge lump followed by water and blood fell loudly into the toilet.  It was quite huge that I jump in fear.

Now the painful experience of that drs clean up process. Thank heavens my boo was allowed in with me.

The pain is horrible. Like a 0-0 battel.

My mind collapsed as well. Too many thoughts.  Too many thoughts. Was I careless could I have seen the dr sooner? But I was very careful? What did I miss?

Twice beaten.... yet I arise.

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